You’re at the corner Gas-N-Go doing a lot of mindless chore when all of a sudden you find yourself face-to-face with a little cutie who’s gazing back at you with that glassy, wide-eyed look that all us guys with one track minds love to see. You smile and make numerous ludicrous remark in regards to something exclusively pointless, but she lights up anyway and gives you a rockin’ return smile. You possibly even get a flash of that doe-eyed, “take me” look. Pre-occupied with the weighty decision of Cheesy Poofs vs. Raw Onion Crunchies however, you have no time to humor her along any further.
So after this brief but enlightening interchange of pleasantries you turn away and ignore her. You then spot the girl a few minutes later while up at the counter checking out, but now she won’t even look at you — or she gives you that quick “too bad” look and vanishes into the parking lot. A few minutes later while driving back home you think to yourself… “Geez, was that chick flirting with me or what?…”
And so it goes… another improbable SURPRISE probability to hook up with a hot little number shot down the tubes. All because you either forgot in the moment or don’t genuinely even recognise how to respond to a sudden flirt that sneaks up on you. Hey, been there my friend… this applied to take place to me ALL the time! Not all that ofttimes mind you (ha!… I wish) — but whenever I DID occur to stumble all over a surprise flirt like this the result was always the same… down in flames!
That’s because my response to a flirt that sandbagged me was always predictable: complete and total lock-up. A perfectly juicy prospect lost everlastingly — something to grit my teeth over later on that night when I think regarding it over and over again, marveling what I could’ve done differently.
I have thought with regards to this problem in depth and I’ve tried to look at it logically and without emotion as much as possible. Here’s what I think: that a lot of this failure to engage may be chalked up to simple DISBELIEF even more than fear. Disbelief in the sense that by the time the gravity of the circumstance sinks in past my cynical BS filter and I realize… “hey, this chick is flirting with me!” the magical moment is gone and the probability lost.
I talk in my books in regards to how your best probabilities to meet great women will ofttimes seem to take place “out of the blue” when you least suppose them. This is why I believe that an utterly critical social skill when it comes to being good with women is the capacity to switch mental gears and spring into action at the VERY FIRST SIGN that a chick might dig you! Don’t waste time pondering why this could be happening or anything else, just act! Go in front and connect with her FIRST and get her number or e-mail or whatsoever you can, and THEN sort out all your anxieties later. You know, all those useless academic questions such as: “would this girl be compatible with me”, or “what’s faulty with her that she’s flirting with me?…”
Alright then, with this basic idea now with resolute determination conventional let me percentage a few of my thoughts on this ONE peculiar maddening aspect of gaming women: the surprise flirt.
1) Don’t Freeze-Up marveling why YOU could be her guy. The single biggest killer in this circumstance is hesitation. Like so much of the sport of gaming women, timing is everything. However, in this circumstance minutes don’t matter, SECONDS matter. When a chick opens a sudden flirt you in a literal sense have a window of chance available to you that’s measured in mere seconds. You must almost see a ten second counter open up over her head that without delay begins running down 9….8….7…. to remind you of how little time you have to act in a way that plays perfectly off her opening volley.
The huge mental block here is a defeatist self-image of yourself as not being “flirting material” or “worthy” like Wayne and Garth or whatever. But while you’re marveling why a chick this cute would actually be flirting with a lowlife such as yourself, precious seconds are tick, tick, ticking away — and with it goes your prospect to score a number!
MAJOR FLIRTING RULE #1: If she’s not without delay seeing the reaction that she was hoping to see from you, (that you are socially skilled sufficient to respond to a flirt) the woman will closely always take this as an prompt rejection! Once that happens she will pull back (I’ve genuinely seen them physically snap back) and the flirt is OVER. Women have no tolerance for rejection, and will seldom ever undertake to bull their way through it like a guy would. Therefore, you ought to be very careful to seem IMMEDIATELY open and accepting of her offer to flirt around with you, and take up the verbal volley with good humor!
MAJOR FLIRTING RULE #2: You never recognise what any other person in the world considers to be their “type”, so don’t let the question of what “she” might see in lil’ ol’ “you” even cross your mind for an instant. Who cares? You’ve seen tons of hot chicks hooked up with gross, grubby dudes, haven’t you? Just receive her judgement and GO WITH IT! No over-thinking of what’s going on — no suspicion of motives, no paranoia, no disbelief. None of that junk must be permitted to intrude into your mind at this critical moment when you’re “on the clock”. That crap will only result in a freeze-up, and once that happens it’s game-over.
2) A Sudden Flirt is always your probability to shine. It doesn’t matter if your absurd little joke is lame or if your words are stuttering or smooth (or even precisely WHAT you say to her) — the crucial thing is that you are attempting to react to her gift of a flirt in a positive way that reflects those good sensations right back at her. You are playing the game! Your willingness to pick up a flirt speaks volumes in regards to yourself… and it’s all good stuff! It says that you are active socially (and accordingly something of a catch), that you have good self-esteem, you’re pleasant around people AS A REFLEX, and so on.
This is the best way to commune these sorts of calibers to women… with your ACTIONS rather than your bragging BS words!
Think of it this way: you’ve been given the chance to put yourself over with a deliberate charm rather than being forced to utilise a load of “pick up artist” blather — and you must always SEIZE this type of probability with a feeling of excitement because they doesn’t come by too often. A woman initiating a flirt is taking a huge personal risk to give you a fat GO signal in the only way that she knows how — admittedly a bit awkward and the entire “surprise” thing is somewhat unfair — but unfairness abounds throughout the universe of man-woman affairs of the heart. Why ought to this aspect of it be any different?
3) Let Her “Win” the Flirt. Remember, SHE started this and so it’s HER play. That means if you pick up her flirt and give it right back in a fun and friendly way, then SHE WINS! By that I mean you’ve confirmed her charm as a woman… she “won” your male attention! Get it? This sort of thing is thrilling to a woman and puts her in an instant happy / satisfied mood from which you may naturally be expected to seek to want to get together with her again soon. It plays into all her most dreamy “chick flick” fantasies!
Anyway, once you’ve disseminate around the good vibes you must then…
4) Follow Up Immediately. Get her name and number and pop it straight into your cellphone, or use a low-tech pen and scrap of paper… whatsoever you have to do to make it possible to hook up with her again before she forgets in regards to you or has second thoughts. Even better, offer to meet her someplace within the next 1-3 days at a good deal of “happening” place… a nightclub, corner bar, a nearby particular event, the local bowling alley, whatever. Whatever fits YOUR queer style and is centered around a place that you would commonly standard and recognise something about. Figure out what this actual place ought to be IN ADVANCE and have it stored in your noggin always ready to whip out and use at key moments like these!
Don’t overthink this: plainly INVITE (don’t “ask” and specially don’t beg!) her to meet you at XYZ Club this Friday night… you know they have great steamed clams or killer Buffalo wings, etc. Make it a safe, public venue that you would normally hang out at… someplace she would surely recognise with regards to if she lives in the area. Invite her to meet you there for a drink or a coffee or to watch you play softball. “You seem very charming (cool, fun-loving)” is all you need to say.
Simple words spoken WHERE THEY ARE WELCOME will rock her world!
Inviting her out to a public party spot also has the added gain of making you seem like a social, happening guy — rather than nervously asking for her “magic 7 digits” like a lot of porn-bookmarking nerd. Tantalizing a woman to JOIN YOUR WORLD as opposed to doing you a favor by even agreeing to see you again makes a rockin’ statement with regards to your High Male Status! Such impressions may be unspoken and subliminal, but this is what makes them so psychologically powerful as well.
So in review, DON’T EVER WONDER “WHY ME?” — LET HER WIN THE FLIRT — HAVE A STANDARD PLAN FOR FURTHER CONTACT. Write these simple but effective rules for responding to a flirt down on a card and stick them onto your bathroom mirror so you may stare at them each morning hovering right next to your heinous, unflirtable mug. This will drive these conceptions deep into your brain so that the next time you get hit with a surprise flirt from some little hottie pumping gas into her Mercedes right next to you, you’ll be competent to react cooly and in a professional manner within seconds.
Almost as swift as the glint of lust sparkling in her eyes!
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